(610): it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.

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(734): OMG! he was HUGE! Fucking him compared to the other guy last night, was like fucking a crayon compared to a coke bottle :) And that was one amazing coke bottle. Ohh and dont try and steal him. I already called dibs for tomorrow night!! haha

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(204): Rec'd: Sorry, Chinese food was calling my name :) Sent: Did it do it in an Asian accent?

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(610): Crew practice tonight:7:45. Be there. We're running train on the crew team. We're makin' dem bitches and hoes!

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(617): MY FRIEND JILLIAN IS A WHORE...... ;)

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(603): MY FUCKING COCK IS HUGE

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(508): So, im in class and this guy named Joe is sucking his boyfriends cock....under the table.

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(401): u called AAA after realizing u just drove down the higway the wrong way, to see if they would be your designated driver.

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(215): S: If you take the heart of a pterodactyl the eye of a galapagos frong and the ear of a swedish human being you cure cancer! R: Do i insert those parts into my body... or eat them all? S: Dont you dare

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(306): While this new MDT format is beautiful and pleasing to the eye, I now can't read it at the office because it's too colourful and people can tell I'm not working!!! WTF!!!

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(781): last night when this girl was giving me head i stopped her and ran down to the kitchen and grabbed a bag of graped and then she proceeded to give me head, then i ate a grape and jizzed....in my pants. then i noticed earlyier she opened the window next to

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(781): Last night, I woke up with his dick in my pussy! best night ever?

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(440): I told her to ask her friend how the sex was. Turns out she had no clue we had sex, and for whatever reason, she didn't want to spend the night after that.

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(484): sent: OMG I went to my first lesiban bar tonight and made it the center of the dance floor! I didn't last long though since it smelled like a fish market :-/ I ve determined I wouldn't make a good lesiban

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Remember The Pics Last Night?

Epic Photo!!
too drunk, too early?
PARTY FOUL!!!!!! Can't let it go to waste.....
...First one to pass out gets mummifyed.
Two girls, One jello shot.
lake chelan '06 im taller after 12 keystone ices