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(678):
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
(847):
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
(586):
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
(212):
woke up with a tube in my urethra, a cast on my arm, and deep purple bruises on my breasts...all because i decided to have fun and drink some tequila. Oh, i also have an outstanding hospital bill for $3640. yay.
(216):
Hey dude I know you will be mad at me because I just woke up next to your girlfriend naked so can I blame it on the al-al-al-alachol?
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(999):
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(+44):
21/f looking for some fun on BBM! ;) Add me boys and girls... 2903DCC0
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(212):
21c0110a men oly
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(676):
2a79c644 girls only
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(444):
2a79c644
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(905):
He started singing "don't you want me baby" and I said "take on me" and then we were naked.
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(540):
Looking for some cute guys to text ;). 540-903-4790
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(740):
My 22 year old sister needs some dick picks boys, don't tell her where you got her number or she'll know I did it for sure. Guys text her some dick pics please. Verizon is free 740-624-8012
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(207):
I was in the lounge one day at college and two people walked by us talking, but it was too quiet to hear. All of the sudden seconds later down the hallway the female speaks loudly: "OMG, SOMEBODY POOPED IN MY CAR?!" The two other people and I in the lounge were cracking up a lot. Gotta love the college life.
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(714):
I ran 5miles to the hotel braless and shoe less
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(586):
I shit myself last night trying to move a homeless persons cart out of a rockstar parking spot on first street
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(806):
Thanks for trying to prostitute me out last night so you could get more beer!!! (806) what can I say? I love beeeeerrrrrrr!!!!! LOL
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(423):
Received: you were so drunk you told the cop he was NOT putting handcuffs on you unless you were naked and being cuffed to his bed. Then you proceeded to tell him you could see his bulge through his pants and called him "Officer Happy Pants". Sent: Oh shit! Well that sure does explain a lot Received: Yea that's why your ass got a DUI and spent the night in jail idiot. Sent: In jail? Are you crazy?! I just woke up in a strange bed wearing nothing but a badge and handcuffs and the name mr happy pants signed beside my vag!
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(423):
I don't remember any of this shit or being in any of these places! But according to the papers, I was in a bar last night, got in a wreck, refused a field sobriety test, got arrested, and sat in jail for 7 hours?! Oh and I was also obviously in the hospital at some point! And yet the last thing I remember is watching the Alabama game on my couch! I'm like fucking Carmen Sandiego!
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