My Drunk Texts From Last Night - MDT

(MDT): MY DRUNK TEXTS

The drunk texts u shouldn’t have sent made infamous

(816): believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.

Great night (16) Bad night (87) | 1 Comment - more texts from (816) - Make Status

(905): We're going to get serious for a second. Did you eat all of my toaster strudel when you were high last night?(1-905) yea man im sorry, i made one and realized its got a toaster strudel wife and kids, i cant leave the kids without a father. so i ate the whole family.

Great night (130) Bad night (2) | 7 Comments - more texts from (905) - Make Status

(816): I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

Great night (110) Bad night (8) | 5 Comments - more texts from (816) - Make Status

(484): just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested? (610): well i fucked her too, so yes.

Great night (7) Bad night (78) | 2 Comments - more texts from (484) - Make Status

(717): dude, weed appears if you buy a bong, but food doesn't just appear if you have a plate. words of wisdom.

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(612): I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.

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(845): I just fucked my girlfriends best friend, we finished she got dressed and called her boyfriend to wish him a happy birthday.

Great night (73) Bad night (37) | 4 Comments - more texts from (845) - Make Status

(209): I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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(518): you know how you told me my marketing professor was gay, and that I should totally try and tap that? Ran into him at the bar last night. He's straight, and in love with his girlfriend, and now failing me.

Great night (7) Bad night (81) | 1 Comment - more texts from (518) - Make Status

(941): (s) got head during the superbowl!!! (r)and..??? (s) came when at the same time the saints won.

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(916): i had to hold my boyfriend penis wile he peed cause he was way to drunk to do it......now thats love

Great night (168) Bad night (24) | 4 Comments - more texts from (916) - Make Status

(879): I passed out while i was taking a shit last night...... woke up on the floor. I have some cleaning up to do.

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(978): i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.

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(423): My gf told me to act like Edward while we were having sex so I bit her turns out "Edward doesn't want to bite Bella" she brok up with for being a bad Edward

Great night (18) Bad night (197) | 11 Comments - more texts from (423) - Make Status

(208): Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong. (208): ha well at least you have goals.

Great night (158) Bad night (4) | 5 Comments - more texts from (208) - Make Status

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