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(412):
I just had sex with a girl who had the biggest tits. I am pretty sure she could touch her vag with them if she tried really hard (recv'd) dude...that's the ultimate definition of titty fuck
(412):
i just did the walk of shame. to church.
(213):
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
(587):
We're both handcuffed!! Get here quick cuz i need 2 pee and so does she!
(410):
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
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(845):
my fifsh is mad at meeee :( what do i do :( (908): Drown it. (845): noooooo! he'lll die.
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(845)
(845):
we had sat there for hours before we actually stepped into the hall way and faced your mother stoned out of our minds and kept straight faces
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(845)
(845):
- lmfao! fineee... no more then just like a simple hookup tho. no touchy feely (this time) - LMAO!!, can i shit!!!!!!!!! lol
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(845)
(845):
10:26 dude is that you getting a sobriety test 10:48 yeah good thing it was me you almost hit the cop cause u were looking at me ur so drunk 10:51 yeah thanks dude
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(845)
(845):
Just saw the big dipper and located polaris im so high
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(845)
(845):
Yo this fart was so epic, you should come in and be a true friend and bask in the stench with me.
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(845)
(845):
i just want uyou to kknow thst i was responsible with my vagina tonight and said noooo to sex regardless og the fact that im hammered! you should be proud of meeee (;
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(845)
(845):
845: "dudeeeee i'm dancing on my couch to 3OH!3 half naked with a bottle of smirnoff in my hand hahaha" (1-845): "wtffff i want your life"
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(845)
(845):
like he just wants to play the guitar while im fucking starving over here. like dude we just fucked. get me some damn food you sperm bank.
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(845)
(845):
you me tara? 3 way? (845:) hellyeahh!
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(845)
(845):
I tried to drink like you. I can't do it lol
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(845)
(845):
nigga im so fucked up i was just laughin at my self in the kitchen cus i reallized iwas singing hit me baby one more time
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(845)
(845):
you asked the cops if you could sit because you're a good kid and didn't wanna break the law. ...then they checked your backpack. it was filled with alcohol.
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(845)
(845):
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
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(845)
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