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(202):
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
(Anonymous):
Last night, sent to me from my best friend. "your mother is running around topless!" MDT
(561):
best party ever (305): why i dont remember nothing? (561): you let the whole party watch you blow him. and then you got naked and rode him screaming you love his cock. (305): i thought that was a dream
(301):
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
(860):
I got into Harvard and Arizona State University. I told Harvard to to fuck themselves and commited to ASU, cause ASU spelled backwards is USA.
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(707):
just filled all my roomates oreos with icy hot, teaches tht bitch not to touch my ramen
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320
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Bad Night
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52
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Comment
(11)
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(707)
(707):
i love it when my girlfriend queefs after sex, its like a dinner and a show
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12
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3
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
He asked me if everything was okay. I told him I was pretty sure there was semen coming out of my nose. He got really quiet, he has been laughing for the last 15 minutes. what do I do now??
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13
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13
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
too trashed to even see my facebook screen. mission completed.
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17
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1
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
i woke up this morning with my underwear in my hand and my shirt off... win?
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4
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2
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
707: Dude why won't they let him go home? That's so fucked! Fuck you Zeus in the ballsack707-1: Please stop doing your The Odyssey homework stoned.
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
707: Dude why won't they let him go home? That's so fucked! Fuck you Zeus in the ballsack707-1: Please stop doing your The Odyssey homework stoned.
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(707)
(707):
(roomie put posters of disney up in the apartment) there's not escape! they're everywhere!
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3
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4
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
Please. save. me.
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2
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6
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
one word..... EPIC
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5
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1
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
(rec'd) how do you feel? (sent) im feeling like last night was EPIC and at the same time i have the what the fuck happened last night feeling.
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9
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
please be an asshole by not telling me the condom broke last night...
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1
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4
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(0)
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(707)
(707):
i just cummed in her then we decided to 69 i got sea foam all over my face
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19
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321
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(8)
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(707)
(707):
Hes like mcdonalds. pretty mediocre but at least you know what your getting.
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4
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12
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(0)
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(707)
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