Texts from 817

(817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

Great Night (102) Bad Night (7) Comment (3) More texts from (817)

(817): (S) So, I lost it to him.. (R) WTF?! When? How? Why? Dude!!! I don't wanna be the one to tell you this.. But he's a manwhore! He only used you for sex!!!:( (S) A few weeks ago, it just happened, I wanted to lose it. And no shit he's a manwhore.. Don't you think I USED HIM for sex?? I just wanted to get fucked already. (R) Holy shit, ha.. If only he knew he got used this time lmfao.

Great Night (10) Bad Night (1) Comment (2) More texts from (817)

(817): dear mom and dad, I got drunk and ate all my lunchables. please send money

Great Night (177) Bad Night (7) Comment (2) More texts from (817)

(817): I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

Great Night (230) Bad Night (4) Comment (17) More texts from (817)

(817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

Great Night (117) Bad Night (3) Comment (0) More texts from (817)

(817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

Great Night (216) Bad Night (6) Comment (2) More texts from (817)

(817): he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

Great Night (130) Bad Night (11) Comment (6) More texts from (817)

(817): I was having sex with him, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!"

Great Night (233) Bad Night (57) Comment (1) More texts from (817)

(817): would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

Great Night (12) Bad Night (0) Comment (1) More texts from (817)

(817): S: what's going on? R: I think they're posing for you? S: hmm this could be good right? R: ahh yeah!!

Great Night (4) Bad Night (0) Comment (1) More texts from (817)

(817): DUDE!! and that's when it happened! that's when you stuck your dick in the asians girls mouth!!!

Great Night (14) Bad Night (2) Comment (0) More texts from (817)

(817): You ran around claiming to be a Jew and then said Hitler can come get you but the leprechauns can't because your wearing green.. Need I remind you that your Irish? Not a Jew?

Great Night (16) Bad Night (0) Comment (0) More texts from (817)

(817): (rec) Tried to pick up a barista at Starbucks. (sent) Any luck? (rec). Pretty sure she gave me decaf. (sent) How do you know? (rec) Tired as shit, didn't get anywhere, barista trying not to laughh when she gave me my damned drink.

Great Night (10) Bad Night (2) Comment (2) More texts from (817)

(817): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

Great Night (252) Bad Night (46) Comment (16) More texts from (817)

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Best Friends :)

Awesomeness!

(419): man dude her vag was torn up. (rec'vd) go dude you got some. (sent) no, i didnt want it after it was sticking outta her dress while she was doing a keg stand. i think she tans to much it was wrinkly and smelled like eggs.

(703): omg how awesome would it be if a cow made brown milk that was drinkable and tasted delish?!??! (1-703): uhhh. you mean chocolate milk? (703): oh god i'm retarded

(+41): look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.

(403): You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

(305): i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.

(817): He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"

(817): dear mom and dad, I got drunk and ate all my lunchables. please send money

(817): I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.

(817): Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".

(817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

(817): he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.

(817): I was having sex with him, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!"

(817): would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?

(817): S: what's going on? R: I think they're posing for you? S: hmm this could be good right? R: ahh yeah!!

(817): DUDE!! and that's when it happened! that's when you stuck your dick in the asians girls mouth!!!

(817): You ran around claiming to be a Jew and then said Hitler can come get you but the leprechauns can't because your wearing green.. Need I remind you that your Irish? Not a Jew?

(817): (rec) Tried to pick up a barista at Starbucks. (sent) Any luck? (rec). Pretty sure she gave me decaf. (sent) How do you know? (rec) Tired as shit, didn't get anywhere, barista trying not to laughh when she gave me my damned drink.

(817): His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

Remember The Pics From Last Night?