(780): so the bartender asked if i was with anybody, and i said no. Hes like wanna ruffie cocktail? WTF i didnt even know that was possible

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(780): so the bartender her asked if i was with anybody, and i said no. Hes like wanna ruffie cocktail? WTF i didnt even know that was possible

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(780): No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better

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(780): lol last time i was choked was from a stripper who took my belt and choked me

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(780): So......how things going with susan? Sorry man I'm going home to get my cock sucked. (Sent from my phone to a friend by a date. Win!).

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(780): Biym? That's some classy shit!

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(780): (Rcv) Man I might of got raped. (Sent) Fall down some stairs er sumthin maybe? (Rcv). No I tried to ride the horse and it kicked me in the hip, I honestly think its broken (Sent) hahahahah that brings a whole new meaning to bareback!!

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(780): 3 beers and 4 martinis, and I wind up sharing my water with a strange dog....

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(780): Recd: If we were in the same vehicle road head would definitely be on the menu :0

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(780): Recd: Can't wait 2 c you. I need a refresher of what u look like. From Lucy. (Reference to 50 First Dates...) Sent: I made a video for you to watch each morning to remind you, so you stop the violence when I take your clothes off. Recd: Hmmm. I don't ever wanna watch the video then cause i love the violence. Unless of course, u can't handle it. :) Sent: I'll just choke you out... Kill 2 birds with 1 stone. ;) Recd: Stop. I don't have a change of underwear at work.

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(780): I just woke up. Still horny. R u gonna be out 4 a while? (After fucking her all night and most of the day...)

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(780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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(780): MAN, how did I manage to go to bed drunk and wake up puking and I got myself a boyfriend. (780): NO MORE VODKA

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(780): Man, how many shots did we even take last night? (780): My arm says 27...but thats just when i got too drunk to keep count. LOL

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!