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(443):
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
(432):
i take no responsibility for who alcohol hooks up with while using my body! :)
(778):
Oh and i would just like to inform you that my pussy and my ass say they miss you like crazy and can't wait till the end of the 2 weeks when you can destroy them again...that is all
(847):
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
(860):
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
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(315):
I should be MDT VIP with all the messages i post. which honestly i prolly shouldnt brag about..
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(315)
(315):
Unfortunately i remember my 21st birthday. . . however i didnt puke. Butttt i ended up with a second degree burn on my arm from passing out on my lap top charger. Who the fuckk would have thought?
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(315)
(315):
We couldnt remember anything from black out wed. So friday when we went back out we decided to retrace our steps by asking the bartenders..were now banned from 2 of the bars. wtf i just turned 21.
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(315)
(315):
I think I would shave my balls for her now thats love
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(315)
(315):
I was just told by the girls that i need to start taking one for the team... And start giving head...lol
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44
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(315)
(315):
I took off my clothes at a party last night and jumped from couch to couch. Everyone was like wtf?! but I had the time of my life.
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146
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(315)
(315):
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
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146
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(315)
(315):
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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(5)
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(315)
(315):
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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202
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(1)
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(315)
(315):
So last night you got really high and thought you had to narrate everything...
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(315)
(315):
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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(315)
(315):
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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(315)
(315):
(Sent while passing out) I am gonna F you so hard in the butt when I get back. (Received in the morning) I love you.
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(315)
(315):
dude... she jus took her pants off for truth or dare like we asked to her to eat a cookie... it was that ez. reply: no way dude dont lie to me. Reply: i swear to god... and now shes yelling at me for taking pictures... shes such a tease.
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(315)
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