(971): (sent) I decided to tell him I was pregnet through "words with friends" I think he got the idea cause after i played the words period and late. He resigned...

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(971): I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?

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(971): he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.

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(971): i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you

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(971): We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...

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(971): Happy New Year! HEAVY D (518) It's 3:30 am Jan. 5th. Who are you?

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(971): Derek gave me condoms, plan b and vodka for Xmas... (480): Haha, what a great boyfriend he is!

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(971): Only my parents would take away my birth control as a punishment..

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(971): I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.

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(971): I'm saving the pictures btw. Hope you don't mind. If you do ill tell you I deleted them if it makes you feel better (503): Not only do I not mind but I prefer it haha. I didn't take them to be deleted! (971): You are spactacular my friend. Truly a gem..

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(971): Dude I just found the nastiest smelling dollar bill of my life...i think this one may have actually been in a strippers booty cheek.

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(971): i wasnt feeling too good and me and my friend were laughing saying i was gonna end up puking in his mouth.... he ended up puking in mine.

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(971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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(971): What happened last night? I thought it was weird to wake up at my house then i realized i had a hospital bracelet on.

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Remember The Pics From Last Night?

Best Friends :)
Awesomeness!