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(705):
There should be a rule. The rule is you're not allowed to say shorty until you've hit puberty. Ok Justin Beiber?
(918):
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
(541):
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
(440):
How do I get into her pants??? (1-440): Buy her a bottle, its like a wedding ring for the night....
(630):
I'm gonna fuck a white guy to prove you can go back
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(845):
Just share a blunt with. 71 year old man
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11
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3
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(845)
(845):
left orientation to hit a bong. came back and the whole freshmen class was making smores around the campfire. i am now convinced i picked the right school
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9
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3
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(845)
(845):
so high. school always has free food somewhere. is like the know me
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1
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5
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(845)
(845):
Him (8/16 23:25): whatcha doin sexy Me (8/16 23:26): daily show and beeeer wbu Me (8/16 23:26): ew that sounds manly ahaha
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1
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16
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(845)
(845):
Condom run?
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7
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2
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(0)
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(845)
(845):
mac miller's song the spinds says your name!!..."corinne has to die~"
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3
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0
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(845)
(845):
So i was titty fucking her and i looked down and i realized i was in a boobie trap
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26
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1
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(845)
(845):
sent : so do you think girls get a dry mouth from giving head? received : I like to think of it as an olympic sport so when im cumming i like scream out the medal i think they have earned
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(845)
(845):
He saved me from falling over the balcony, hooking up with his best friend, and running into a brick wall. I WILL MARRY HIM.
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17
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2
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(1)
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(845)
(845):
She named my dick Charles Dickens and proceeded to spin in a clockwise motion. Oliver Twist.
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7
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3
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(845)
(845):
So, I told him I'd pick him up from the bar, but not that I had a cold, so i have some emergen-c ready for him before we..you know..
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7
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3
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(845)
(845):
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
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184
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38
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(845)
(845):
Can I tell you a joke about my vagina? Nevermind, you wouldn't get it anyways ,
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2
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17
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(845)
(845):
I think im anout to die
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2
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1
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(845)
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