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(336):
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
(201):
so i woke up this morning and masterbated while thinking of three different guys. does this make me a whore?
(734):
I just realized how bad lotion next to the toilet looks when your mom walks in after you
(806):
I started a fucking revolution in her vagina (1-806): Heh...the British are cumming
(317):
she fell asleep and i swear to god that her snoring sounds like an alien trying to communicate with a fucking toaster.
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(844):
Re: we're having sex tomorrow? Sent: Haha re: please sent: with? Re: a cheery and m&m's and whatever else you Want (changed the subject... an hour later) sent: so what time are we having sex tomorrow? Re: really!? Sent: Haha... no.
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(844):
When your best friend tells you to take off your pants in the middle of wal-mart at like, 9:30pm, you know you have to do it, whether your drunk or not. : )
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(844):
he smelled like baby wipes. but it was just the beer
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