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(774):
I woke up shirtless, out of cigs and covered in kitten shit. What the fuck did I do last night!?
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(774):
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n (617): Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
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(774):
You're drunk. 774: I swear i'm sotally tober
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(774):
I just can't fuck u till I get std results from my past relationship.
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(774):
I been out with three guys tonite and did not get any dick wtf
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(774):
Just cuz u bought me a shot of petron n got a lapdance that made u cum ur pants n now u think ur gonna get my number n be my fuck buddy
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(774):
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
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(774):
i just snuck out for the first time. i came upstairs at around 3 am and my mom asked if i'm ok. i told her "yeah, i just couldn't sleep, i was watching that 70s show" when in reality i was blowing this guy i haven't seen in 3 years
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(774):
My cat was so much cuter when he was a puppy he used to growl now he just lays there. (508):Well you know what they say let dogs lay. (774):It's a CAT not a DOG!
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(774)
(774):
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
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(774):
underage drinking is very bad....unless you have a fake i.d, which in that case its completely fine.
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(774)
(774):
I'm on the floor in a ball with a bottle of wine. Inbetween two beer pong tables. Not sure if this is good or bad
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(774):
Will u please come get me off the bathroom floor? Ok good thanks love you
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(774)
(774):
Oh ud appreciate this.. Went to pump gas a friend from highschool was there. Looks at me and says wow u haven't changed. Then she points out the dried cum on my cheek and I forgot the shirt I was wearing I used to wipe the cum off my face last night haha
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