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(817):
Ultimate walk of shame, had to walk 3 houses down and across the street in nothin but a towel while the neighbors family was outside staring
(213):
The cops showed up last night because my 6 year old son called the police saying that I was hitting my wife and that she was crying. My wife and I were having making love.
(601):
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
(416):
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
(775):
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk. (504): Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
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(657):
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
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(657):
"Sorry to bother u again but im getting my hair straighten and damn its way! not even haha" "huh?" "...im sorry i dont know how to wake that more exclamator..."
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