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(973):
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
(610):
I thought I was giving a woman the orgasm of a lifetime until I realized that she was telling me to stop pulling her hair.
(702):
Katie, I just found an adult super store...bought dildos that look like swords...prepare for a duel in 20min.
(203):
First 36 hours of college: Climbed a brick wall, learned to swing dance, memorized the Greek alphabet, Learned that New Years takes place once a week, got locked out of my dorm at 5 in the morning, with my roommate, slept in the kitchen, shared break...fast with a confused chinese girl, and tried desperately to find a computer that had internet.
(269):
i told him we couldn't have sex last night because i knew he wouldn't remember it. he woke up told me that last night was amazing. my reply? "what even happened last night? all i remember was seven shots of e&j." -_-
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(408):
Dude remember the girl we tag teamed Jake and Ryan tagged her at their place after we ledt
Great Night
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4
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Bad Night
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13
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(408)
(408):
All the jokes about peeing in girls butts are hilarious until it really happens and a tsunami of pee and shit comes flying back at you when you pull out.
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4
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(408)
(408):
I need a drink or to get an orgasm. One is going to happen before the morning.
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7
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4
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
We ran around the MGM casino screaming happy vegas and giving high fives. You fell down and kept going like a champ.
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6
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2
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
Vagina is the dirtiest word for pussy there is. Nothing compares... beaver, cooter, box, poon, goodies, cha cha...damn even cunt, axe wound, pink taco, beef box, or clam. Vaaaaggggiiiinnnnnaaaaa....Vaaaaggggiiiinnnnaaaa.... It gives me chills.
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9
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1
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
this is a fake text
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4
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0
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
hi
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2
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7
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(3)
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(408)
(408):
i just pooped on a girl
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9
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24
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
I just took a dump in a cardboard box and dropped the turd in the recycle bin for the homeless woman who collects cans to find.
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5
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(408)
(408):
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
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153
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
I judge girls on their attractiveness based on whether or not I would lick their butt-hole.
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10
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(2)
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(408)
(408):
When your girlfriends mom calls, don't yell out "I'm the one that's fucking your daughter." Eventually you have to meet.
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114
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18
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(0)
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(408)
(408):
Is it still a one night stand if we grabbed lunch today?
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112
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6
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(1)
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(408)
(408):
I just wiped.....NO POOP!!
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4
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(0)
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(408)
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