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(845):
haha soo after everytime we fuck he takes me to get a slushie. its like he is thanking me with a slushie for fucking him.
(772):
I just sneezed so hard I think my tampon came out.
(403):
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
(970):
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
(401):
i told him his cum tasted like jello shots and then he had a jello shot to see how it taste
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(312):
U wanna fuck a guy? ill give you a bj. no questions. I like you a lot.
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8
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(312)
(312):
I like need to be put on a leash at concerts...i always end up hooking up with someone...
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100
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34
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(312)
(312):
haha im so drink. I wanna haves x with you. and dont worry we dont have to date for me to eat you out or makeout with you
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(312)
(312):
He just called my ass a bum... Be here in 5 to pick me up.
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2
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(312)
(312):
I may have harassed a state trooper on Marshall St. (315) This is why Tuesday night bar nights aren't the best idea, bro. Don't get arrested, I don't get my refund check til Friday to bail you out.
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(312)
(312):
No this site is getting lame
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7
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(312)
(312):
My eight year old brother just tried deepthroating a hot dog in public 847: He's just like you!
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7
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4
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(312)
(312):
Wanna come over? (312): Forget it. I just saw what time it was. I have to be up at 5am. (773): I can be there in 15 (312): If you can bust in 5 min you can come over (773): Hell yeah I can... on my way...
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(312)
(312):
(312):I am gonna have sex with Sarah right now (773): Sarah, from work Sarah? (312): Yeah, Missionary or Doggy Style? (773): She is the boss, she goes on top.
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(312)
(312):
I wonder if my Grandma knows the 20 dollars she sent me is going towards Butterscotch Schnopps.
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23
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2
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(312)
(312):
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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124
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(312)
(312):
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
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57
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4
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(6)
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(312)
(312):
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
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72
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(312)
(312):
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
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96
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8
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(2)
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