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(815):
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
(660):
We have no electricity and absolutly no food...No weed...My vagina is so hairy from not showering it sounds like i`m wearing wind breaker pants when i walk
(734):
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
(609):
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
(403):
And you never know who'll be coming out of the bushes. it could be batman or some fat kid.
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(233):
me and my bf was fuckn and i dont think it alright wen he starts hollarin "Judy!" my name is lindsey and judy is his mom???? wtf??
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(233):
my drunk self figured out how to do the laundry that i've been doing wrong for over fourteen years.
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(233):
(sent) Fml. (Received) what? (sent) I'm tired of being cock blocked by my period. (received) I agree.. fuck your life.
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(233):
(snt) i told you the only rule for weed was dont smoke with josh till your ready... (rec) dude its been three days, im just ready to come down... please help me. (snt) water and food, lots. (rec) i already spent 80 dollars at macdonalds!!!!
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