(805): i just changed my girlfriends tampon because she was to drunk to do it...

Great Night (217) Bad Night (4118) Comment (147) More texts from (805)

(301): So I went on a date with this girl...and who's our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my birthday present.

Great Night (436) Bad Night (3083) Comment (98) More texts from (301)

(614): went to a strip club for my bachelor party. about to get a lap dance and realized that when she turned around ... it was my mom

Great Night (135) Bad Night (3012) Comment (46) More texts from (614)

(816): dude, i ate her out then we started makin out - and she said 'your breathe smells bad', made a mistake and said that's cuz your pussy stinks. I guess ill just beat and sleep tonight.

Great Night (207) Bad Night (2704) Comment (46) More texts from (816)

(604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

Great Night (178) Bad Night (2697) Comment (34) More texts from (604)

(609): (rec'd): I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there... (sent): and? (rec'd): RIP clitoris

Great Night (78) Bad Night (2383) Comment (62) More texts from (609)

(570): hey baby i just wanted to let you know last night was amazing , for being a virgin that was great. (rec'vd): This is her dad, don't fall asleep tonight!!

Great Night (459) Bad Night (2342) Comment (145) More texts from (570)

(254): right when i about to pull out she wrapped her legs round me and yelled be my baby's daddy.

Great Night (156) Bad Night (2091) Comment (64) More texts from (254)

(209): he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period

Great Night (105) Bad Night (2091) Comment (106) More texts from (209)

(631): dude, I was going down on her, she put a jolly rancher in there and told me to go find it. I thought I found it so I bit. It exploded...not a jolly rancher...herpes sack.

Great Night (36) Bad Night (2068) Comment (103) More texts from (631)

(843): we started to hook up went to his room he took off my shirt stepped back, turned on the lights and said wow with clothes on you don't look nearly as fat as you really are. then he told me to leave.

Great Night (137) Bad Night (2067) Comment (94) More texts from (843)

(303): (sent:): "you and josh still trying to have a baby?" (rec'd): "ya, lol its frustrating cuz i get all his little guys but they aren't very good swimmers lol" (sent): "ha. well, i wish i woulda known you needed more. i would have spit." (rec'd): "...?" (sen

Great Night (113) Bad Night (2019) Comment (45) More texts from (303)

(949): hey can I ask you something? (sent): sure, what Mom? (rec'd): I have two guys here and I need some condoms and anal lube... would you mind getting me some? Take the car and grab out $40 and keep the change, I'm too busy to do it myself.. k thks love ya.

Great Night (140) Bad Night (1974) Comment (34) More texts from (949)

(610): I just woke up spooning with my dad.

Great Night (87) Bad Night (1947) Comment (41) More texts from (610)

Remember The Pics Last Night?

I think she's still awake?
Dancing
Walked out of the bathroom and find this. GREATEST. PARTY. EVER.
too drunk, too early?
PARTY FOUL!!!!!! Can't let it go to waste.....
...First one to pass out gets mummifyed.
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