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(404):
Dude...can you like send a girl an Easter basket full of condoms??? She's allergic to chocolate...but she looooves sex
(561):
I went from 0 to sticky in 60 seconds... he seriously was the worst lay i have ever had - MDT
(212):
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
(989):
so i was at a party and as soon as i got there i played bp and i couldnt loose and this girl got so mad we kept winning that on our 15th straight game she decided to go under the table and give me head as a distraction
(818):
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
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(415):
sent last night: "Her pussy is like Landolakes Naturally Creamy Butter. She went from Linda Hunt to Eva Mendez in 9 shots. Fuck I love Tequila!" - MDT
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