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(818):
(Sent): "they say I'm not allowed on the trampoline drunk but I say fuck that I know how to swim!" (Recd): "hun the trampoline is for jumping..." (Sent): "wait then what's that next to the pool for?"
(913):
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
(334):
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
(330):
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
(202):
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
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(860):
If I have to tell you to bring a bag of doritos one more time I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!
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