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(479):
sent: dude your girlfriends at a bar making out with someone!? rec'd: WTF! kick his ass for me. on my way sent: um.. i cant...its with my sister..
(434):
He fucked the shit out of me...literally.
(330):
Hmm.. Maybe i should make a resume of my sex life and get referrals of girls who loved it, then when i meet a girl i will just give her the resume.
(302):
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
(843):
She swore it was razor burn, anyways hello gonorrhea!
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(315):
E, you will never ever be my friend again! You made the floor melt! I was just not ready for that!
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