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(785):
Jagermeister. German for "you will black out"
(803):
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
(613):
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
(208):
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
(603):
The other day I asked him to be my covalent bond and he said he would gladly fill my valence shell with electrons. It's love.
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(501):
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
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