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(780):
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
(412):
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
(481):
I am Cesar Millan, lord of the bitches!
(570):
Why is it when someones wife or GF gets pregnant all her friends rub her belly and say congratulation, but they don't rub your penis and say Well Done??
(847):
847: I just had a drunk hook up 217: With who? 847: The former Diving coach from my old school.... He was so hot and good in bed, even though it is kind of weird my friends all call him coach haha
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(813):
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
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