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(201):
zippers are such a cool invention
(613):
my liver is chuck norris
(202):
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
(613):
Sent: Dude i banged the ugliest chick last night! recd: really cause kyle says you went home with my sister
(262):
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
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(612):
you two go ahead and fuck like wild cats all night
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