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(780):
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
(678):
If I win then you have to personally cook me dinner (907): I can make a mean tube steak...extra specia sauce (678): Sounds good, I've never had that kind of steak before
(403):
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
(228):
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!! (1-228): brownberry?
(843):
I think i'm pregnant (803): I think you have the wrong number
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(315):
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
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