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(818):
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :) ... (661): should have blown me.
(248):
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
(715):
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
(301):
So I've decided I only want to have a son solely for the purpose of one day teaching him how to drink as well as me.
(905):
It's 4:45am, just finished banging this chick while she talked to her bf on the phone all she kept saying was I'm comming, I'm comming....win or fail!?
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(612):
you were putting handfuls of fish food in your mouth and trying to feed it to my goldfish like a mama bird. you kept muttering "fish need love too.."
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