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(604):
she said my dick looked like a mountain she needed to climb, a while in to sex she sang "she'll be cummin around the mountin when she cums"..
(518):
two people were getting it on in the bedroom so you drilled a 5 inch "peep hole" in the door... yea she's pissed about the damages but i'm just wondering how the fuck you manage to get your hands on a power tool every time you're drunk
(203):
i'm eating and playing video games because i'm bored. i feel good about myself.
(301):
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me? (513): Get out now.
(770):
But she's got a boyfriend. (1-770): Excuses! You need to get your foot in that door! And by foot, I mean your dick, and by door, I mean her va jay jay!
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(401):
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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