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(803):
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
(434):
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
(405):
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
(617):
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
(815):
Um... I'm going through my phone to see what kinda damage happened ie. pictures, text messages, calls you know the normal... Why do I have 5 pictures of my cleavage?
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(443):
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
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