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(703):
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
(613):
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
(410):
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
(509):
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
(309):
The two of us drank a half of vodka straight and proceeded to fuck on the trampoline in front of everyone. great night.
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(260):
When I return - you me bed (260) thats a big ten four!
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