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(508):
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
(815):
hey, i gotta ask you something... (1-815): please don't try to get emotionally attached..
(530):
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
(732):
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
(315):
after I banged her I went upstairs to go to bed and she asked if she could come...i said no u have to sleep on the couch...and she did ha
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(307):
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
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