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(970):
That girl from lastnight peed in my shoes, I kid you not man
(269):
I just put cans outside of my house, yelled at the homeless man, watched him whip a trash bag from his back pocket, put the cans in the bag, steal my neighbors bike and ride away.
(818):
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
(502):
The psych ward called said someone showed up smoking a joint wearing a thong & riding a goat. I'll come get u but this shit has 2 stop!
(863):
I was so drunk lastnight i passed out in a big ass water fountain on campus naked
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(215):
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
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