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(860):
one minute you think your fucking some hot chick you met at a bar, next thing you know its actually your cousin.. story of my life.
(401):
Last night we watched a movie where all these girls made a pact to get pregnant, wanna join ours?!
(407):
um, got head, came twice, stole her mom's weed, and left a big ass chipotle shit in her toilet...can you beat that?
(309):
Dude. It smells like slut in your hallway.
(512):
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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(818):
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
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