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(803):
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
(847):
Dude this cereal box is opened backwards! (1-847) Um turn it around? (847) Oh my god you're a genius!!
(714):
sent) I wish he'd come home now. I'm really wanting some... received) Why don't you text him? sent) He's with his friends! received) So? sent) How would I put it? The sissy way "Hey babe, can you come home? I'm in the mood."? received) What's the alternative way to say it? sent) "Babe, if you come home within half an hour, I'll rip your clothes off and I want you to mount me up against the wall, pound the shit out of me, and moterboat my pussy until I can't walk for days" received) Sissy version
(865):
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
(609):
Sent: He said that he likes my flower and butterfly tattoos. He also said doing me from behind was like fucking springtime... Wtf?!
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(412):
I think your teddy bear has herpes
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