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(760):
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
(647):
we got drunk and took turns using my brand new vibrator. you were on your period. you owe me.
(530):
if i "rock out" are you gonna accept me after?
(501):
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
(917):
Your purse, phone and bra were in the hall. Cheese, butter, everywhere, my bread I just got found on the floor of the kithchen. Stove set at 380 with nothing in it. Ill take care of my dishes before I leave for the afternoon, sorry to leave such a mess in the sink.
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(720):
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
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