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(513):
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
(860):
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way your getting out of a DUI.
(479):
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
(401):
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
(407):
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
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(307):
well thought I just had sex with a gorilla until she turned the light on...
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