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(917):
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
(860):
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
(315):
I said I'd only fuck her if she put a bag on her head first. She did! She fucking did...
(416):
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
(845):
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
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(830):
Who the fuck wrote all over me last night!?!?!?!
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(830)
(325):
i told her that i was a small time porn producer and was trying to shoot a movie called harry potter and the order of the penis. haha that girl had great hand movement with my wand!
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(325)
(830):
horny?
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12
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2
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(0)
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(830)
(361):
i've been stepping on the cracks in my sidewalk for the past 10 minutes, and the dumb bitches back still won't break! WTF!
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(361)
(765):
I want a Kiss reall badd.. Its been awhile. of course it's been awhile... you're a freakin GINGER!
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21
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(0)
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(765)
(979):
I'm peeing without a toilet, or a door, in nature, I am one.
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31
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3
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(0)
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(979)
(214):
oh hell yeah! should i get beers and rubbers? and lotion for teh tits??
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(4)
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(214)
(740):
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
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40
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(740)
(902):
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
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24
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(4)
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(902)
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