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(417):
I woke up in your spare bedroom, with one of those strippers, covered in maple syrup, and confetti all over my tongue, WTF?
(949):
I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana.
(919):
My couch pulls out... but i don't
(716):
can you take me to a tanning bed (1-716): sure, why though? (716): i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
(402):
(sent) -- dude where are you? (recv'd) -- taking a shit you? (sent) -- taking a shit! do you have blue shoes? (recv'd) -- ya do you have black shoes? (sent) -- ya...low five man (we then low fived each other under the stall diveders)
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(420):
my ex broke up with me after a crazy night, and i took her virginity. i run into her a year later with a baby in her arms, and she decides to tell me now shees the only one shes ever had sex with
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(420)
(269):
my dog just ate my friend out, we're sober, and she enjoyed it, is that a bad thing? and we were all watching and laughing then my mom woke up, thank god she got her pants on in time.
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(269)
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