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(914):
Today is the kind of day I want to walk around with a coffee cup filled with vodka
(309):
How's your night? (Sent): were under nicks garage. zombie apocalypse! (rec'd): marijuana? (sent): everclear as fuck, my man. everclear as fuck.
(651):
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
(410):
She was blowing me and she wanted to try deep throating. She puked. On my shorts. Thank god Chris brown taught me a lesson not to hit chicks, otherwise that bitch was having her face rearranged.
(whit):
Last night, "She walks like a supermodel ... a midget supermodel." MDT
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(773):
Dude im on the toilet and my cat is in the litter box.n nThis is some awkward eye contact..
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(630):
You were so determined to convince everyone you were truly the mad hatter from alice in wonderland, you're now a fckin carrot top..
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