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(914):
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
(715):
a few days after my gf and i broke up, i got a random text from a weird number that said "hey babe, we should meet up ; )" (rec) who was it? (715) her mom.....win?
(314):
I was so drunk I had to makeout with my eyes open to keep the room from spinning
(309):
you took them off and threw them in the bonfire while screaming pants are something the government says we have to wear.. LIBERATION!
(310):
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
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(989):
You have to park 5 metres away from the fire hydrnnt even if your eating cinnamon toast because people will find you.
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(785):
So last night i woke up with a pillow sheet as my blanket..and a loaf of bread as my pillow...so confortable...if i only i remebered why i decided to use those two items...
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