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(724):
Today at the dollar store I saw a little kid wearing a drinking helmet pretending to be Bob the Builder
(321):
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
(129):
most things can be toilet paper, most places can be toilets
(780):
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
(419):
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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(530):
i was so wasted last night. i blacked out. i just woke up like an hour ago. (510) yah at around 6am u got up and pissed ON the bed. thats when i left.
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(724):
vodka and light minute maid orange juice, dieting is so easy.... :)
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(530):
Best part about last nite...i got tazed 3 times!!! That shit got nuthin on me!
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(906):
i was on my way to the bathroom to take a shower, when i was in the door opened. and that person got in i saw it was my dad
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(619):
OMG they showed a teletubbie video in church today....they were talkin bout homosexuality.
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(619)
(707):
so i wake up in the morning next to my bestfriend with my pants and shirt off on the same bed...i look over and she looks at me and starts singing "wake up in the morning feeling like P diddy"
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Remember The Pics From Last Night?
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