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(319):
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
(716):
dude your phone bill is gonna be like 1000 dollars.(recvd)WHY?(sent)because dude. you texted that haiti number like 100 times while yelling "I HAVE TO SAVE THE CHILDREN!"
(360):
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
(780):
Dude, i woke up in a dumpster with no pants on, what happened last night?
(917):
she said she'd never given a handjob before. then she goes "it's okay, i know what i'm doing. i have a Shake Weight"
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(917):
last night received, "I'm at a strip club and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!" - MDT
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