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(412):
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
(412):
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
(951):
So I just got my pap...while the doc was two fingers deep he asked if anyone has ever told me my vagina leans to the left...Did you ever notice my vagina leans to left?? RCVD: My dick leans to the right. Marry me??
(412):
hey you are on birth control right? cus i def pushed a big load out in you last night and i dont wanna have to pay for child support
(304):
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
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(Susie):
last night at 3:00 i received "If I had a lesbian making machine you'd be the first one in it" MDT
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