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(617):
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
(859):
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
(631):
Did we use a condom cause my vag burns.
(303):
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
(270):
i think i need the plan B...i wonder if i can find a coupon for it online.
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(239):
I had a rough night. I threw up cabbage and pepsi and got my ass stuck in a laundry basket.
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