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(516):
i just made my dog lick peanut butter outta my pussy..guess dogs dont hate cats afterall..
(936):
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear
(614):
(sent) i'm in a dark room wearing a sumbraro and i hear mexicans talkinh...was i deported? (received) dude, ur in my closet and we're outside watching cheech and chong... (sent)...oh....i love this weed...
(503):
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
(952):
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
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(+34):
He was in my room last night, in the dark singing Dont go breaking my heart to the cat. What did he drink?
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