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(847):
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
(303):
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
(917):
We went to McDonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, left without paying and told them to bill our producer.
(214):
I think I just had sex with a water bottle
(503):
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick (541): the rest of him looks just as crooked
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