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(519):
you think it would be fairly obvious to her by now that i have no interest in sexual contact with her without at least 37 beers into me
(952):
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
(614):
I was drinking at the bar and woke up the next day in bed with 5 guys, and one was a midget! No more tequila!!!
(770):
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
(580):
My ex wife is sitting in the spot where I blew all over my gfs face last night.... Win? (1-580): Lmao... Oh... Win....
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(540):
.your a sorry mother f*** , take yoi ring and shove it....Oops sorry wrong generation I texted my Boyfriends dad acxidently
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