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(503):
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
(919):
Your text totally went off in my pants while I was taking a piss...Hmm what an interesting sensation... :)
(559):
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
(847):
plow me like you would on farmville
(607):
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
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(401):
Probably not the best idea for someone to dress up as an arab for halloween in nyc... no respect...
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