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(609):
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
(850):
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
(631):
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
(702):
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
(620):
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
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(209):
yeah but you can't get pregnant in the county jail anyways...
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