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(317):
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
(912):
Girl after i walked out the bathroom, i went in James room and immediately climb on his dick, i was bouncing for maybe 5mins when i screamed "ur dick is so much bigger than usual", his roomate Marcus said "ooohhh shit baby, James went to the store 20mins ago".opps.
(856):
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
(515):
Thanks for letting me crash on you couch last night. (319): You didnt crash on my couch dude.
(610):
my girlfriend and I decided to try using edible body paint during sex. Instead of putting it on my lower body in sensual places, she thought it would be more fun to use it to draw a long, curly mustache and a unibrow on my face, as well as a set of hairy balls on my chin.
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(516):
Omg so fuzzy I'm gonna die!
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