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(217):
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
(432):
I tried not to look drunk in front of the cop until I walked into an ATM.
(314):
And then all of a sudden, out popped a fully exposed and naked eighty-year-old man dying to play flip cup with us
(303):
Dude I walked the streets around the bar for three hours looking for my car then passed out on the side walk. (1-303): You don't have a car haha (303): I know lol
(214):
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
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(828):
I just looked down, and the clock said 11:11. As soon as I began my wish-making process, it switched to 11:12. TIME IS AGAINST ME. Wanna take a shot?
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