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(619):
he tried to fuck me while he was wearing a snuggie..
(630):
(sent) why is my dick on fire and red(rec) you thought my pepper spray was a spray on condom
(641):
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
(716):
Oh and I found a bridal party again last night.
(+44):
you went in for a hug and somehow ended up punching him in the face and knocking him out. you fail at hugs
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(732):
"Just realized that I'm Irish, Scotish, and a little Russian that lives in New Jersey. My liver is fucked."
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