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(251):
My high ass just stumbled upon the snack isle at Dollar General. Shits going down like the Catalina wine mixer.
(610):
I threw up all over her new $120 shirt... AND still got a bj
(443):
you meow in your sleep when you're wasted.
(203):
i went to his house because i was bored. he ended up making me food and giving me shots so i felt like i should have sex to repay him. i told him i forgot to take birth control so he offered to just buy plan b in the morning. future boyfriend material?
(250):
(recieved) dude this fucking stew in the fridge is delicous, what is it? (sent) man thats your puke from lat night. you claimed it was the most epic puke ever and then you put it in the fridge in a bowl to "preserve it"
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(910):
ewww.. a lady's gonna look at my lil puss then ima go home and eat a steak
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